March 18, 2014:  As I write my newest book, Muse Emergency Response Guide for Professionals & Businesses in Crisis, I feel the need to bring up this important subject.

I've noticed that there are two schools of thought to avoid in regards to employee engagement.  One is "They Shall Fear The Sound of My Footsteps" and two "We Are One Big Happy Family".    Both of these tend to instill rather poor employee behavior and performance.   

A good indicator of where you stand with your employees is the monitor test. You walk by and what happens?   Whether it is panicked clicking, open Facebook posting or actual work you can learn a lot about what people think about you by the Monitor Test.

Respect is earned not given freely, even when you are the one paying all the bills.  Don't be afraid to say "Were you just on Facebook?" when you catch an employee along with reiterating the office policy.   If you don't have an office policy on social media, job hunting, personal phone calls and the like it's a good idea to have one now.

It's not 'rude' or 'controlling' and you can still have healthy work relationships.  There is a balance and the great part for owners is that this balance is a happy medium.  You really can be cool, nice and still command respect which falls squarely in the middle and well clear of the extremes of Dictator or Doormat.

TAKE 3:

• When you pay people, outline your policies regarding playing Candy Crush, Social Media, Phone Calls, Cell Phone Use, Personal Email, etc. in writing and have them initial it.  If you have to let them go because they can't stop playing Farmville then even in right to work states you still need to show cause.

• Don't be afraid to call them on behavior the first moment you see it or you lose credibility and all the rest of your company policies get treated with the same sort of loose adherence.

• Never yell, shout or get angry - firm insistence works best and shows control and demands mutual respect.